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The Immortal Writings of Nara Kagerou

Prankwar 2008, Chapter 4



Prankwar 2008, Chapter 4

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Title: Prankwar 2008, Chapter 4/5
Rating: PG-13
Chapter Word Count: 1,503
Summary: They prank because they love. Including this chapter: drunken confessions, ice-cube wars and Jared's muscles staging a coup.
Disclaimer: They're real people. I have no shame. This shit never happened: is fiction.

1 : 2 : 3 : 4 : 5

Finally, Jared's back to normal. He's been acting a little bit weird for most of Prankwar 2008, starting with the scene when he decided to play Ruby and the whole sweeping Jensen off his feet thing (which he has thankfully not repeated) and culminating in the extremely awkward night of the popsicle incident.

Now, even more suddenly than it came, it's gone, and Jared's himself again. It's a huge relief, because Jensen relies on him, isn't ever as happy when he doesn't have Jared there, cracking jokes and horsing around, and he kind of thinks he'd go crazy, filming long hours like this, day after day, without Jared around for support. He's pretty sure Jared doesn't know just how much he misses him when they're apart, and of course this isn't something he's ever going to admit, but it's pretty nice to know that Jared misses him, too.

Jared celebrates his return to normality by dosing the set's pot of coffee with salt and keeping a straight face every single time someone pours a cup and then does a spit-take. Of course, unless someone is fortunate enough to actually see someone else's spit-take, no one bothers to warn their coworkers about the spiked coffee, so it's good for five rounds of laughs until it's universally decided that they need drinkable caffeine, and an intern is sent to make a fresh pot.

Next he puts a rubber cockroach in the burger Dean's supposed to be chomping into during filming, and Jensen totally falls for it. He gets his revenge by dropping ice down Jared's shirt, which only improves his irritable-Sammy acting, because he actually manages to get through the scene with the ice melting on his back, and starts an ice-cube throwing war with Jensen the minute Kim declares it's a wrap. Unfortunately for Jared, his glass has less ice in it than Jensen's, and he ends up turning puppy eyes on props and asking for a refill between ducking missiles from Jensen. Props gives him a glass full of ice cubes (the traitors), and Jensen isn't quite fast enough to get out of the diner booth and escape before Jared grabs him and pours the entire glass down his back. Jensen swears him out and kicks him in the shin before managing to squirm out of his grip, complaining about how the sasquatch genes are totally unfair. Although, in all honestly, it kind of balances out with Jensen's brains, so maybe not all that unfair.

A little bit of the weird shows up again several days later, when they're out celebrating a successful end to a particularly tricky episode. They're not sitting next to each other, which is unusual, but it's not like they're actually attached at the hip. Jensen does kind of prefer sitting next to Jared, because then he can lean on Jared when he gets tired or has had too much to drink, but it's not a big deal. At least, he didn't think it was a big deal, but it does allow him to notice that Jared keeps giving him these weird looks. They might be looks because Jensen's not sitting by him, which is not Jensen's fault, since he arrived late and the spot by Jared was already taken, or maybe he just never notices the looks when he's sitting by Jared. Point is, they're weird.

The bar they chose is not far from Jensen's apartment, so when Jensen's had a little too much to drink (according to Jared, anyway), Jared walks him home. Jensen's pretty sure that Jared's not as sober as he would like to think, because he can't seem to stop laughing, which makes Jensen start laughing, and even though he doesn't have the slightest clue what they're laughing about, neither of them can stop, so they're just walking down the street, leaning on each other and giggling like idiots, which really isn't unusual for them at all.

By the time they get upstairs, Jensen's already completely forgotten about the weird looks, and Jared's leaning against the door while Jensen fumbles with the keys. It's a good thing that Jensen's just sober enough to shove him off the door before opening it, because otherwise Jared would probably land on his ass when Jensen opens the door.

"Hey," Jared slurs, grinning, "can I--"

"Yeah," Jensen agrees, because he sure as hell doesn't want to send Jared out on the streets alone when he can hardly stand up, because right now he's feeling kind of wary about Jared's ability to get into a taxi. Mighty mutant sasquatch genes or no, there is always the possibility that Jared could get abducted by psychotic fans or violent rapists, wandering the streets of Vancouver while drunk off his ass.

Trouble is, about two-point-five seconds later Jensen realizes that Jared's question might have been something other than the completely predictable and normal "can I crash here tonight?", because Jared has swept him off his feet and dipped him back. He has only enough time to think that he was pretty sure they had discussed not doing that move without warning, especially not while drunk enough that Jared will probably drop him, when Jared takes advantage of the whole idea behind dipping him back like this, and kisses him.

There is no way he is anywhere near sober enough to deal with this, but considering what he knows about Jared (namely that Jared is currently drunk, probably horny, and always pretty physically affectionate), it's really not all that much of a surprise, relatively speaking. But there's still that part where Jared is kissing him, and yeah, that's more than a little confusing.

Especially since he was right about Jared's being too drunk to successfully keep them both upright, and he's barely had time to register that Jared is kissing them when he feels his stomach do a flip because Jared's just dropped him, and a moment latter he's being flattened by Padalecki the Giant Redwood.

Jared's giggling, and Jensen would smack him, but he's pretty sure that both his arms are pinned. "Oops," Jared says, pushing himself up onto his forearms, and Jensen gasps for air, because he's really rather fond of breathing.

"Dude?" Jensen says, wary, because drunk, affectionate, kiss-crazed Jared isn't something he feels confident he can deal with even when sober, and he's really, really not sober right now.

"It's me," Jared says, and starts laughing again. "It's not you, it's me. I was just--what's the word--project... project-thing."

"Projecting," Jensen corrects immediately, and then starts to think that maybe he's just not drunk enough for this situation, because Jared's still pretty much got him pinned.

"I'm in love with you," Jared says, and it all comes out in a whoosh of drunken breath.

Jensen is not nearly drunk enough to deal with this.


Jared is on his back in the middle of Jensen's living room, pretty successfully blocking the door because that's where he landed, and that's where Jensen left him. He can hear Jensen in the kitchen, apparently making coffee, and he considers to himself whether or not he's sober enough to successfully stand up. Maybe just sitting up would be nice. He could try sitting up.

He makes an executive decision to sit up, sends an official memo to all his muscles, and schedules the event to occur in three, two, one, now.

Upon further reflection, he might need a new system of inter-corporal communication, because apparently not a single once of his muscles got the message. Floor's kinda comfortable, though, so he's not too concerned.

Jensen comes back, holding two mugs of coffee, and looks down at him. Jared grins hopefully, because Jensen's pretty cute like that, even when he's looking all baffled and overwhelmed like he is right now. When Jensen puts down both mugs, and reaches down to help him to his feet, Jared seriously considers the option of yanking Jensen down on the floor to be comfortable and horizontal with him, since now that he's figured out he's in love with Jensen, that seems like a really nice idea, but he's willing to consider that Jensen might not appreciate it so much. Their combined efforts are enough to get him sitting up, leaning back against the couch (though still on the floor). Jensen sits down by his side (which is great, because Jensen's all warm and solid and pressed up against him, even if they are both still dressed, because that can always be remedied), staring into the cup of coffee.

Jared drinks his coffee, and of course it's just the way he likes it, because Jensen is just that awesome. "I'm in love with you," he says.

Jensen kinda looks over at him, then goes back to staring at the coffee. "You, uh, mentioned that."

"I thought you were in love with me, but you're not, I just thought you were because I'm in love with you and I'm apparently really, really dumb."

Jensen gives him a really odd look. Jared grins. Jensen fights it, but they both know he's helpless against the power of Jared's grin, so he grins a little in return. "You sure you're still going to be in love with me when you're not drunk?"

Jared takes a sip of coffee, lets that question roll around in his brain for a minute. "Yep."

Jensen starts drinking his own coffee, relaxing a little as he does so. "You don't think it's a problem that we're both, uh, straight?"

"We're too awesome to be restricted by sexual orientation," Jared argues.

Apparently Jensen's going to be going through his entire repertoire of confused and skeptical looks tonight, because Jared gets another one of them, and then Jensen laughs. "There's one I've never heard."

"I came up with it a week ago," Jared explains, and Jensen's laugh is genuine this time.

"I was wondering how you did the big words while you're this drunk."

"Not that drunk."

Jensen grins and cocks an eyebrow. "Really? Stand up."

Jared looks up at the ceiling, which seems a lot further away than it usually is. "Okay. That drunk."

Jensen's grinning, relaxed completely against him, and Jared's okay with this, because Jensen's not mad or freaked out. They just sit there for several minutes, occasionally taking a sip of coffee, and then Jared figures that as long as they're sitting here and both still mostly drunk, Jared might as well ask. "Wanna make out?"

"No." Jensen snorts, then immediately starts giggling, until they're both laughing helplessly and Jared has to put down his coffee or he's going to spill it all over Jensen's shirt. When he looks back, Jensen's gone quiet, weight suddenly heavier against Jared's side, and head on Jared's shoulder, fast asleep.

Careful not to wake him, Jared takes the coffee out of Jensen's hand and puts it on the table so it won't get knocked over, thankful for his long arms. He's still far too drunk to get either of them into the bed, or even onto the sofa that they're leaning against, so he just puts his arms around Jensen's shoulders, puts his cheek against Jensen's hair, and sleeps.

Next Chapter
  • "We're too awesome to be restricted by sexual orientation."


    Yes yes they are.

    I'm friending so i don't miss the rest.
  • Love this! Love the sweetness of the end and that Jensen doesn't freak out on him cause they're just too good a friends for that. Feels believable.
  • It's great that they both know the truth & no one is freaking out yet.

    Looking forward to the next update
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