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The Immortal Writings of Nara Kagerou

The Winchester Way, PG-13, John/Mary

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jensen

The Winchester Way, PG-13, John/Mary

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jensen
Title: The Winchester Way
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: John/Mary

Summary: AU. What if Mary was attacked and made into a vampire before the YED ever showed up? John would have to choose whether to join her or kill her. For Kaylie.


John figures there are three ways this can end.

Mary watches him from a corner of the cell, unblinking. It's unbelievably creepy--such a tiny thing that indicates the total lack of humanity in her. His wife--his Mary--or at least what's left of her. When John tells her how creepy it is that she doesn't blink, she smiles a little, a wry half-smile that's so eerily like her and yet so horribly wrong.

"Sorry," she says, voice sweet but layered with so much guile. After that, she mimics his blinking--every time he blinks, she blinks a second later. It's disconcerting, when he notices it, but an improvement. It makes it easier to call her Mary.

He can't decide whether or not that's a good thing.

The boys are asleep in the other room. John doesn't allow Mary to be in the same room with Dean, and especially not the baby. She doesn't argue about this, which is a point in her favor. Sometimes she asks how the boys are doing, offers feminine parenting advice and expresses concern for her children's well-being, but she never asks to see them. John's seen the hunger in her eyes when she gets a glimpse of the baby. That helps him remember to keep them apart. Sam's not her son anymore. He's just a particularly tasty little morsel, and Dean's just a four-year-old snack. John wants to believe that part of Mary's still in there, enough to keep her from hurting the children she loved so much, but he doesn't dare take that chance.

The first way is to kill her.

It took him three months to hunt her. She made it easy for him, once he finally knew how to hunt, because she never traveled far from her family, but she sure slowed down his learning process.

Three months ago, John watched his wife die. Watched her bleed out slowly, priceless droplets of blood spilling from her wrists and pooling in the bowls below. She didn't beg, once she realized there was nothing she could do to fight, just told John she loved him and turned her face away so he wouldn't have to watch the light go out of her eyes.

The second way is to join her.

After she turned, it took him three months to learn. Mary went one way while the surviving vampire pack went another, which made things tricky for the hunter chasing them, and made him a little more amiable to teaching John and letting him hunt down his own wife.

Mary stayed out of reach, but she never ran far enough to let him lose her trail, and most nights she came to him, called to him.

It's still me. Your Mary. I still love you, John, I'm not going to hurt you or the boys. We can still be together, still be a family. Please, join me. Trust me.

John wants so much to believe her. From his research and the other hunter--other hunters, now, as he's learning--he knows that vampires can survive on cattle blood, if they choose, and sometimes they really do make that choice. Vampires mate for life. Maybe she still means it. Maybe she's even capable of keeping her promises.

He wants to believe her, even though he knows it's ridiculous. What kind of family would they be, two vampires raising their little human sons? Like that would ever work. A moment's weakness and Dean or Sam would be nothing more than a snack. If they even survived the first night with their new vampire parents.

John was army-trained before he became a hunter. Even without the tools he needed, he'd been able to keep Mary away. At first, she was still weak and confused by her new abilities; it was easier to fight her. As she grew stronger, so did he. Neither one actually wants to hurt the other. Mary just wants to find a way to turn him, and John just wants to prevent that, until he can figure out what to do.

Yesterday, he set a trap, and Mary walked right into it, the way he knew she would. She's not strong enough to bend the metal bars of the cell, and there's still enough Mary in her that she's polite and patient at her imprisonment, waiting until John makes up his mind. She's already stated her case. She's too proud, too sensible to beg, and even as a vampire, Mary's not very cruel or manipulative.

Sometimes John can almost believe that she hasn't changed at all. It's wishful thinking, but sometimes that's the only way he can go on, is to close his eyes and just let himself believe that he still has that perfect, happy marriage. She still looks like Mary, talks like Mary, sometimes she even laughs just like Mary. There's something missing, though, he can't deny that. She's like a hollow reflection of his wife, a cruel mockery of the woman he loved, and one that just happens to have bloodthirsty fangs.

He knows he'll never kill her. He's avoided it for three months, and no matter how often he tells himself it's the right thing to do, he can't.

He won't join her. Letting Mary live--even knowing that she's killed, knowing that despite her best efforts to dine on cattle, she's still going to end up taking the occasional human life--is enough of a strain on his morals. Joining her and killing at her side is a line he's not willing to cross.

The third way is to let her go.

That's the option he keeps considering, the one he rolls over and over in his mind. The first two options never last long, but the third is almost equally horrible. He'd have to threaten her solidly enough to make her really believe that if she came back, if she stepped foot anywhere near Sam and Dean ever again, he'd kill her. He'd tell her to watch out for hunters, to take care of herself, and then he'd throw her out and make damn clear he wasn't bluffing.

The only problem is that he doesn't think Mary would believe him, and he's not sure he wants to risk her calling his bluff, because then it would bring him right back to options one and two.

He hears the baby wake up and start to cry.

"We could raise them," Mary reminds him. "Watch them grow up, and when they turn eighteen, make them like us. We could still be a family. Winchesters."

"Vampire Winchesters," John snorts, disgusted by the idea. He goes to check on the children.

John leaves Sam and Dean in the car as he wanders out into the field. He's not sure what he's doing, can't stop telling himself how insane this is, with a bucket in one hand and a machete in the other, but Mary needs to eat. He brings her a bucket of pig blood and Mary makes a joke about how sweet he is to bring home dinner.

The next night he brings her a lamb, instead, and forces himself to watch as she drains it, mouth stained with blood.

She turns her face away when she's finished, ashamed that he watched. She asks him to bring a washcloth, so that she can clean up the blood on her face and hands.

He can't kill her.

He won't join her.

He could never be strong enough to let her go.

"Mommy." Dean whimpers in his sleep. He's only a child, but old enough that he still remember his mother. Still asks when mommy's coming back. It's getting harder to hide that daddy has mommy locked up in a cage in the other room because mommy is a murderous vampire.

In the end, John makes her a deal.

"If you want us to be a family, you have to prove it. You promise you won't drink from anyone but me. It's either me or livestock, and you won't ever try to change me over. Won't even try to touch Dean or Sam until I allow it."

Mary watches him, forgetting that she's supposed to blink. He pauses after stating each condition, but she only waits, letting him finish.

It's wrong, letting her live, trying to live beside her as if they were still a family. Hunters will come after them, whether or not Mary keeps her end of the deal and doesn't try to change him.

"You'll grow old," Mary points out. "You'll grow up, and I'll stay young."

John shrugs, helpless. Family is his weakness. He'd do anything, for the people he loves, give anything, take any risk. That's the only thing he can do.

He turns the key in the lock, watching Mary stand, lifting her arms to embrace him.

Her teeth sink into his neck, because that's part of the deal, part of himself that he's surrendered. Even if she kills him, and then takes the boys, he still has to take that risk. Sacrificing himself to keep his family together, at least what's left of it.

That's the Winchester way.
  • Errr wow. Given the choice, My John would have done all three of those things but he would have taken the kids, and left her there to die, or to escape. And then he would spend the rest of his life hiding his trail. Probably stop hunting and go into hiding. And if she found them, he'd probably kill her to save his kids.

    MAN. We write some fucked up shit.

    Thankyou for the story. :D :D <3 You're a star.
  • *nosebleds from the thought of future vampire wincest-hunting-goodness* Ahem. But yes, John. *pets him* Beats having her burning to death on the ceiling though.
  • (no subject) - nephthys101
  • This is horrific and uh...sexy. Mary just kept coming across to me as sexy. Poor John, he always has to make the tough decisions. He'll never have the strength to control her. He's too emotional and he'll grow old and weak. I love the AU.
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