Warnings: By popular request: DANGER. DO NOT READ THIS STORY WHILE CONSUMING FOOD OR BEVERAGE PRODUCTS, AS THEY MAY COME UP YOUR NOSE OR BE SPRAYED ACROSS YOUR COMPUTER.
Summary: They prank because they love. Including this chapter: Jensen panics, Jared is apple-flavored candy and there are smooches.
Disclaimer: They're real people. I have no shame. This shit never happened: is fiction.
1 : 2 : 3 : 4 : 5
When Jensen wakes up, he's on his back in the middle of his living room, with Jared practically on top of him, breath warm, moist and really kinda ticklish against his neck.
He's pretty damn sure that he's not in love with Jared, which means they've got a problem, because this needs to not complicate their working relationship, and it really, really needs to not mess up their friendship, because Jensen doesn't know what he'd do without his best friend.
He loves Jared, but he's not in love with Jared, and he's especially sure about this because the idea of sex with Jared just makes him squeamish. However, he'd do a lot to make Jared happy, so. Considering the way that he didn't hate the time (maybe plural?) Jared kissed him, and that time with Jared and the sexy voice-rasp actually did send some rather pleasant shivers down his spine, he might just be willing to try making out with Jared, just to make sure. If he doesn't like it, that's cool, they'll figure something out, and if he doesn't hate it, maybe they can consider the possibility of ... things that make him squeamish.
It sounds good in theory, if he could just get his brain to accept that and stop spiraling in panicked little circles. Jared is in love with him. He's not in love with Jared. He doesn't want anything to change. Everything is going to change.
His ribcage feels too tight, which is probably partly because Jared's on top of him, but to be perfectly honest it probably has more to do with the panic running cold through his veins.
It takes two tries before he manages to shove Jared away enough so that he can get up, and then goes out onto the balcony to breathe. He wants to kick himself, because he should be able to just accept this, there are so many things here that are more important than his stupid panic. Part of him wishes Jared had never confessed, because then, sure, Jared would still be acting weird sometimes, but Jared's always acting weird, so he could overlook it. He could pretend he didn't know what it meant. He could pretend that Jared's not in love with him.
It doesn't help at all that he's slightly hungover, which adds a lovely set of stabbing pains to the already agonizing ruckus in his brain. Sleep isn't going to happen, so he shuts himself in the shower and stares at the tiles on the wall for an hour, until the water starts spiking cold as the apartment boiler struggles to keep up.
It's still obscenely early in the morning, and the thing about an intense filming schedule is that Jensen really, really misses sleep, so he'll probably be falling asleep between shoots all day. Jared's woken up at some point, handing him a cup of coffee. It's just the way he likes it, of course, and for once he just wishes that it wasn't, that Jared didn't know him better than even his own family. He thinks that he wants to yell at Jared--you idiot, why did you tell me, why did you fall in love with me, how am I supposed to deal with this? Instead he drinks the coffee, doesn't look at Jared.
Jared doesn't stop looking at him. "Do you want to talk?"
Yesterday, he would have loved to talk. Yesterday, he was worried because Jared was behaving oddly, and he would have loved to make him talk, to believe he could fix whatever was wrong. Now, he's angry at Jared for falling in love, and angry at himself for being such a shitty friend that he doesn't know how to deal with this. "No," he says, a little too sharp.
Jared just watches him. "You're really freaking out, aren't you?" His voice is careful, like he thinks Jensen might snap at any moment, and Jensen isn't sure that he's wrong.
Jensen risks a sideways glance. Scowls.
It's answer enough. Jared puts down his cup of coffee, wraps one of his freakishly large hands around Jensen's neck, and very gently turns him, starting to massage his neck and shoulders. "Jensen."
There is no way it's fair that Jared's so good with his hands, especially since he knows what it does to Jensen, and he all but melts under the touch. A very undignified sound of pleasure escapes him, and he can only hope that Jared didn't hear it.
"Doesn't change anything," Jared promises. "Forget I said it, or if you can't, at least stop thinking that it's important. We're fine."
He steps away, and Jensen has to wonder if Jared knows the kind of power he has, because Jensen's brain has officially decided that being a puddle of goo is a higher priority than panicking.
Jensen gives him a look. Takes a sip of coffee. "Okay."
Jared's grin is way too happy. Bastard totally deserves a hangover, and of course he's the one who gets away without one. "Okay?"
"Okay. But if you wanna keep doing the massage thing, I'm not going to argue."
Despite Jared's assurances, something has changed, and everyone can tell. The set is unnaturally quiet that day, and Jared doesn't have a single gigglefit, which is eerie. Crew walks gingerly around them, because even though they're still sitting next to each other--with Jared grinning and cracking jokes, and Jensen encouraging him--there's an invisible barrier between them. Jared doesn't touch, and Jensen never looks at him, but no one wants to ask what's going on.
Jensen figures that there's really only one thing he can do, so he digs out the pair of Groucho Marx glasses he had picked up and never gotten around to using. It's a piece of cake to pocket them, wait until they've slid into the Impala, and then sneak them on before the camera starts rolling. Jared's not paying attention, because they're several lines into the scene before Sam looks over to give him a skeptical look, and Jared cracks up laughing as soon as he sees Jensen's new eyewear. Jensen gives him a cherubic grin, and pockets the glasses so that they can get on with the scene.
Jared's grin is a lot happier for the rest of the day, and when they're on a couch waiting for their next scene, each buried in a hand-held video game, they lean back at the same time and settle without even thinking about it, shoulders pressed together. Jared grins at him, and Jensen grins back, because Jared's right. Nothing's changed, as long as Jensen stops thinking about it.
They go back to normal, and Jensen almost does forget about it. Wonders if Jared's forgotten about it, if it was just the influence of too much thinking and too much alcohol on Jared's part, and he's probably over it by now, if he even remembers that it happened. They work, they prank, and they misbehave as much as possible on set, as weeks go by and the only odd thing that remains is the fact that they're still both single, which isn't a big deal since they're too busy for dating during filming anyway.
But one day, they're on set and Jared's gotten covered in green ooze (and oh, how glad Jensen is that he only has to get his hands in the green ooze for this episode). The minute Kim calls wrap, Jared yells with disgust and relief, and strips off the sticky green shirt. It clings to his skin, goo-heavy cloth dragging over his flesh as he tugs it up and off, leaving trails of green slime, and even though the consistency is probably more like snot, all Jensen can think of is pulling the wrapper off an apple Jolly Rancher that's been left to sit in the sun, and the warm, sticky tendrils of green candy.
The epiphany hits Jensen almost as hard as the stunt chair from the last scene (which completely failed to break when they hit him in the face with it), and he realizes three things at precisely the same moment. First, he's staring, watching Jared pull off this shirt, watching his muscles ripple as the cloth glides over them. Second, he has just compared Jared to hard candy in a metaphor that was far more detailed in his mind than it had any right to be. Third, he realizes that Jared may have been right.
Something's been on Jensen's mind all day. If he thinks Jared hasn't noticed, he clearly doesn't know who he's dealing with, but they get stuck filming late that night, so that when they're finally released, they both just want to go home and crash. Jensen's spending the weekend with his family, and Jared's got the very important and highly stressful plans of spending the entire weekend goofing off at home and taking his dogs to the park, so there's no chance to interrogate him. When they're back on set again, Jared's forgotten about it.
They're sitting together in Jared's trailer, waiting for their next scene. Jared's watching TV, and Jensen's cuddled up against his side. Jared thinks he's saying something about how the news special on lurking bacteria dangers in the kitchen would make for a great episode, with sentient salmonella, when Jensen pushes himself up from the couch, turns his head, and cuts Jared off by kissing him.
It's so unexpected, and so incredibly pleasant. Jensen's warm and sleepy, and Jared's arm is still around his shoulders, though it slides halfway down his back when Jensen moves. There's no way he's going to argue, because as much as he's been trying to act like nothing's changed, he's still pretty aware of his constant desire to jump his co-star, and this is the first time Jensen's initiated anything.
He parts his lips, trying not to grin too wide, and returns the kiss, careful not to spook Jensen. They only have about two seconds of mutual kissing before Jensen pulls away, moving right back into the spot he'd claimed at Jared's side. He says nothing, as if the last ten seconds didn't just happen, and Jared blinks at the television, wondering what did just happen.
They just sit there, silent, until Jared can't resist anymore, grin stealing up his cheeks and staying there. "What, am I not a good kisser?"
Jensen tilts his head to look at him, also grinning. "Had worse."
That right there is practically an open invitation, and anyway, Jensen started it. Taking his chance while he still has it, Jared leans in for the kiss. Jensen makes this soft, surprised little sound, but he's not pulling back, and after a moment he opens his mouth, letting Jared in, letting it happen. It takes about only a few moments before Jared has shifted them to get comfortable, pressing Jensen into the couch and going in deep.
Which is really a terrible time for a polite knock at the door, reminding them that it's time to be back on set. Jensen stares at him, like he's looking for a cue, but Jared doesn't know where to start, so he just pulls Jensen to his feet, follows him out the trailer and over to hair and make-up to get touched up.
The scene goes well, and it's easy, because it's just Sam and Dean interviewing the local sheriff, no big emotional scenes, no tough stunts, and then they're sent back to their trailer again for another three hours of down time. They both go for Jared's trailer without talking about it, and Jensen's headed for the couch when Jared grabs his shirt tail and makes him turn, then sneaks one hand under the front of Jensen's shirt, where it's untucked, and hooks one finger in his waistband, pulling him close. Jared sees him swallow, but doesn't say anything, just raises his eyebrow at Jensen, asking both for explanation of earlier and permission for now.
Jensen tries to clear his throat, but only succeeds in making a quiet sound at the back of his throat, and he really has no idea how inviting that is, because Jared makes a responding sound in his throat which is pretty much as eloquent as he can get right now, and kisses him. They take it slow and careful for about a minute, when all of a sudden a switch flips in Jensen's brain, and the next thing Jared knows, he's up against the wall with Jensen's hands inside his shirt and Jensen's tongue down his throat, which is pretty much the best feeling ever.
The kiss breaks for air, and Jared thinks that this would be a wonderful opportunity to start nuzzling at Jensen's throat, since he's been wondering (way more often than he would admit) what the skin tastes like along Jensen's neck. It is, Jared thinks, a huge tragedy that he really shouldn't leave any marks, because he would just love to have Jensen sent to hair and make-up for touch-up work on account of Jared's teethmarks. "So I was right?" he pants against Jensen's shoulder, and his hands are already unbuttoning Jensen's shirt, because there is way too much cloth in their way.
Jensen laughs, sinking his teeth into Jared's throat, and Jared is just thrilled that he'll have to go to hair and make-up with Jensen's teethmarks on his neck. "You were right."